waiting

I had a great night at church tonight. Brent didn't go (and no, that is not why it was great, lol :) because he had to stay home with Elisha. Wish he was there. We talked about the impending Wal-Mart layoffs and found out that it is likely to happen Friday. And it is apparently supposed to only be 200 as opposed to the 500 we heard before. We will see, I guess. Brent is off work on Friday. I wonder if they will call him if he loses his job or if they will wait untill he comes in on Monday to tell him (cruel). We are both just ready to know. He is no longer worried about losing his job. He knows we have a back up plan and whatever happens God knows what we need and He will take care of us.

My doctors appointment was yesterday and I didn't find out much. The lump in my throat is a lymph node and not my thyroid. I had several other lymph nodes swell yesterday. My neck is very painful. It feels like I have strep throat but the doctor says I am not sick and he doesn't know why my lymph nodes are swollen. He is sending me for an ultrasound of my thyroid and my lymph nodes this Friday morning. I will not find out anything for at least a few days, though.

uncertainty

For the past week we have been making plans for a strategy for if/when Brent gets laid off of work. He works for Wal-Mart Home office in ISD. We fought hard for him to get where he is today. He started out stocking and pushing carts for Wal-Mart while he was pursuing his Bachelor's degree. He moved up to Assistant Manager in Fayetteville, AR in the same store he started in (hard to do). We moved to Idabel, OK just 1 month after we got married to open a new store there. We moved a couple more times with Wal-Mart. Then applied for the home office again and still did not get it. So we moved to NWA and he worked as an Assistant Manager in Fayetteville again in hopes being closer would help him get into the office. After about 9 months he finally got the position he in in now. Then Tuesday uncertainty swept in when Wall-Mart home office laid off about 800 people. We have sources that say this week about 500 people will be laid off in ISD. He has only been there for about 8 1/2 months. This is weighing heavy on us, but we know whatever happens the Lord has a plan for us.

Along with this uncertainty, I feel strongly that I have cancer. I have many symtoms that I can't explain that really are bothering me. Not every day, but when it happens, it is very bad. Last time it did was yesterday. I woke up hardly able to breathe (very short of breath), I was fainting over and over, I was pale, my whole body was shaking really bad (for hours). This seems to happen every time I lose 2 pounds in one day. I step on the scale almost every morning and yesterday it was 2 lbs lower than the previous few days. I have lost 14 lbs more that I gained during this last pregnancy. I am down about 70 lbs now in 6 months. I am NOT trying to lose weight. I am very hungry all of the time (a symptom of my hyperthyroid) and I eat every time I am hungry. I have more than 3 full meals a day. I found a lump in my neck last week a few days after my voice changed and I became hoarse. These are symptoms of thyroid cancer. I go back to the doctor tomorrow to see what the doc has to say about this. I am hoping he goes ahead and does an ultrasound on my neck to better see the 'lump'.

On a lighter note :), My little baby has the most beautiful smile and she is always happy :)

LeeLou's Baby Shower

I am posting a link to a blog that is having a baby shower from today till Febuary 12th benefitting a couple of special babies and their families! They are giving away many, many, prizes from many different places. Awesome prizes :)
Here is the link: http://www.leeloublogs.blogspot.com/

Go check it out :)

Sad, Sad, day.........

The little baby that I wrote about a few days ago has went home to be with Jesus. My heart hurts for her family. Less than a month ago they had no clue she was sick. 17 days from the time they found out she had cancer................17 days.............can you believe that. Imagine having a seemingly healthy baby and in just a little over 2 weeks your baby is so sick he or she dies. I hate cancer. Why do people get cancer? I don't understand how or why a child or baby can get this terrible disease. They are so innocent. Why?????

Lord, Please be with Cora's family as they go through this journey of loosing a child. Please give them comfort and peace. Please carry them when they are not strong enough to carry on. Please help them understand that their child is in a better place and is not in pain any longer.
In your precious and sweet name, Amen.

Please pray for her family, The McClenahans.

Just another day

Today was a pretty good day. I had a 30 minute break sitting with some friends at school before class started. Then in class I bagan to understand some algebra problems I was not sure about. This accelerated algebra, so far, is not too bad. Just a lot of work :) We will have our 4th test on Friday over chapter 4. I got a 110% on chapter 3 :)

On another note, this morning when I stepped on the scale it was a pound lower than it had been. Which probably isn't a good thing. It probably means my thyroid issue is getting worse and not better. I will find out in 3 weeks when I get it checked again. I am now officially the smallest I have ever been as an adult.

Elizabeth was tested today for any developmental delays and they found she had NONE :) YAY!

Not sure what else to say for now. Below is a pic of our family taken a few months ago when my youngest was 3 months old.

Praying for Cora

I just read a little bit about a beautiful little baby named Cora. She is fighting stage 4 cancer and it breaks my heart. All I can think about right now is that I need to pray hard and long for this little girl and her family.

It also makes me think about my children and how I need to make very sure I am not taking their good health for granted. Cora's family took her to the doctor for an ear infection and immediately ended up in the hospital learning their baby had cancer and not just a beginning stage 1 cancer, one that had already spread through her whole body before they even suspected it.

Lord please heal Cora, please take her pain away, please take the cancer away, please make her healthy again. Please be with her family and give them peace that passes all understanding. Lord, please help me to be more patient with my children and please help me to never take anything for granted. In your precious and sweet name, Amen

I guess I feel like I have a lot to say..........hmmm...........
I am just sitting here in the quietness (oh my goodness, it is quiet) wondering when the fighting will start again :) I should be doing homework, but I am not.
I will do homework in a few minutes when we put the kids to bed (that way I know I shouldn't have interruptions :))
I just purchased a crock pot the other day so that I can avoid the "oh no it's 3:30pm and I don't know what to make for dinner" routine. We will see how this goes. I have used it once so far and wanted to use it again, but I need to go grocery shopping for ingredients to all of the wonderful recipes I have found first ;) I have been trying to avoid going to Wal-Mart these days. Weird because I used to go everyday (of course, that is when I was able to see my Hubby b/c he worked in the stores ;) He now works for the home office.
I am glad he is in the home office because his schedule is MUCH better than when he was in the stores, much, much, better.
It looks like it is time to sing bedtime songs to the kids. Gotta go for now.

My wonderful kids

A look into my world :)

My son is very smart even though he lost a lot of brain matter when he had a stroke as an infant. He is very sweet when he is not being mean :) He loves babies :) He will help at the drop of a hat as long as he doesn't think he's in trouble. He loves to be around adults, he loves to entertain, he is very articulate and he has very good manners (when he wants to use them :))

My eldest daughter loves to help, she will help at the drop of a hat, she will help whether asked to or not. If it pleases her Mom and Dad, she wants to do it (clean her room....ect) She is a very good artist and very creative. She makes cards for everyone all of the time. If she finds out it's someones's Birthday, someone is sick, someone is unhappy.............ect. or just because :) She is a born again Christian and I am very proud of that :)

My middle daughter is very sweet and sensitive. She is the least independent strong willed of my children. She has a great imagination :) She wants to help all of the time. She will put her arms around us and tell us she loves when we may not feel too well. I can't wait to see her grow :)

My youngest daughter is such a good baby. She hardly ever cries and when she does almost always I know what is wrong and am able to fix it quickly. She smiles at me all of the time and just seeing the smile on her beautiful innocent face makes the world seem so much brighter :)


My kids mean the world to me, but they can test my patience. I assume this is the same for most mothers (but you know what assumptions do ;)) My son bounces off of the walls, literally :) My middle daughter whines a lot and I can't get her potty trained although I have worked hard at it for 1 1/2 to 2 years now :) My eldest daughter thinks she is the boss :) The 3 oldest fight amongst each other most of the time they can see each other, but I know they love each other :)

This is all I can post for now b/c I need to tend to my wonderful kids :o

OK, I will try it :)

I have heard many times that blogging can change your whole perspective on life in a good way. So, here I go...........
Today I did our taxes. I am happy they are done. I am just waiting to make sure the IRS accepts them. I know, just random stuff......... I really don't know what to write.
I have four children. An 8 1/2 years old girl in 3rd grade, a 4 1/2 year old boy that goes to a school for developmental delays, a 3 year old girl that stays at home with me, and a 6 month old girl that also stays at home with me.
Speaking of the 6 month old, she is awake and calling me :)
I am a wife to a Man that is my opposite. They say opposites attract, I can attest to that ;) He completes me. He is my other half. He is strong when I am weak, he is calm when I am not (and I am not, a lot), he loves me with all of my faults even though I am not always fully there for him in ways he needs me. He understands I fall short. He works hard so that I can go to school and stay at home the rest of the time. I love him :)
I am going to school to be a nurse. If everything goes as planned, I will be applying for Nursing school this spring.
This is a basic introduction. Will try to do this more often.